Friday, May 25, 2007

A Secret I Will Not Be Sharing

I haven't posted lately, because my mental state has been in flux, and not in a good way. Sometimes when I gets to thinkin', I take a tumble down a slippery slope that always ends in a world view that is none too pretty. A lot of it comes from the stresses of the debt war. The way my hair looks after it has grown out a bit too much from my free buzz cuts (someone told me one warm day that I looked like a wet chicken). The constant reports of deaths of good Americans in a war without end. Co-workers I'd like to see fall through my imaginary trap door, under which I house my imaginary giant cross-cut shredder. Etc., etc., etc. Blah, blah...blah.

A funk, if you will.

I'm just in a very pessimistic "space" right now.

Which is weird, because not too long ago I was feeling better than I had in years. Let me explain: Bianca brought home three CD's her co-worker had burned. It was The Secret. So I popped in the first disc, and lo and behold I actually started listening to what was being said. The beginning of CD 1 had some very intriguing ideas about showing gratitude for what you have. I really responded to this. I mean, I'd been so incredibly focused on this huge negative thing (my debt), that I had completely blocked from my mind what I did have. And let me tell you, I have a lot to be grateful for. In fact, my wealth in my personal life is beyond what I could ever wish for. So after I finished the gratitude portion of the disc, I experienced the best couple of days; a wave of positive energy coursed through me, and I actually could feel what it might feel like with my debt gone. I've got to see what else these discs contain, I thought. If this is the beginning, what other wonders lie inside?

And so I finished it and began to mull over what I had listened to and came to the realization it was the biggest load of horses--t I've ever heard. (For a fantastic summary, read Get Rich Slowly's take, which I wholeheartedly agree with, here.) Ugh. So, there went my mood. It's a freaking roller coaster, this Secret. There are some good points in there (particularly about showing gratitude for what you have), but when it departs from reality altogether, whoo-boy. It gets stinky.

Anyway, I have to get back to my funk. I'm grateful to have it. There's a story the artist Tony Millionaire told in an interview. He and his friend were walking down the street, and his friend began cackling.

"What are you laughing at?" Millionaire asked.

His friend replied "Just the horror of being alive."

3 comments:

KMK said...

Oh come on! You could be rich and not even do more than think about it! But seriously, I agree that the gratitude thing is important. I've been toying with the idea of starting a gratitude journal where, at the end of each day of trying to change things I don't like, I write down two or three things I'm grateful for. Just to keep it focused. Good luck with your mood.

anonymous reader & admirer said...

I agree that being grateful is very important. I also agree that the Secret is a COMPLETE and utter CROCK of crap. My husband is a therapist and he says he sees a correlation with the patients who love the secret and those that are the most delusional. I also took particular offense to the concept that we attract bad things to happen. While I think attitude is important -- it ain't the only factor in life. The secret is so simplistic and insulting and definitely blames the victim. I also thought it was so materialistic...just a bit infomercial. One of the most offensive things I read recently was that a woman is using it with her young son. The boy is now full of confidence and thinks the world is his oyster and he can have whatever he wants. Hope I don't get invited to that kids birthday party! EEE gads. Wouldn't want to see that brat's catalog.

Elizabeth said...

Hang in there Baz! I feel your agony in the funk/fog/gravity of living. Thanks for your opinions on that Secret book rubbish. I am trying to use David Burns' "Cognitive Distortions" to help me identify when I start to go into a tailspin. I'd also recommend vast and obsessive amounts of exercise, but that's another lecture. May your storms soon pass. Don't give up.